Introduction
This serious topic is covered by Paul Friedman with candor and sympathy.
Here's the truth of the matter. If you're feeling your husband doesn't love you anymore and there are all kinds of degrees of this. Let's back up a little. Let me tell you right now that this is extremely fixable.
Most people wait too long before they start addressing these kinds of issues but usually not too long so it's still addressable in an easier way and I'm going to give you two ways.
1. If your husband is really insensitive towards you, what you do is you look at yourself. If you love somebody, what are the traits that you manifest? You're very caring so if your husband doesn't care anymore he's become sort of apathetic, not a good sign. If you're looking at other men that's really a bad sign. If he's looking at other women it's also a bad sign. If he's starting to use porn, most women don't do that but if he started to use porn, not a good sign. If he's starting to berate you, put you down, disqualify you, criticize you at the drop of a pin, make fun of you, tease you, hurt your feelings intentionally these are all valid signs.
I may not have hit the sign that is happening in your marriage but trusts your instincts on this because your instincts are probably right on.
What do you do?
Don't freak out. You're married so you have this till death do we part template over your marriage which unfortunately is not highly regarded so much anymore but you're still under one roof. You're still living together so there are major changes that you can make and you can bring that love back out.
Here's the thing and this is a little esoteric granted but it's still the truth. You're a soul, he's a soul. The essence of you is the soul -- that's who you are and a soul is nothing but love so the love doesn't really disappear. What's really happening is it's getting blocked and honestly if your husband is not feeling love towards you anymore or he's discouraged by you and he's seeking love elsewhere there's a lot you can do about that.
It's like if someone comes to you and they want some candy and you don't have any they'll go somewhere else. I'm not saying love is candy but I'm just using this as an analogy so men marry women because women have this hard quality where they can express unconditional love much better than they can, and if that's not happening anymore you just have to turn that switch on and it's the same switch you had on when you were dating. It's the one letting him know that he's the most important person in the world.
Look, if it's got to this degree and I'm giving you this advice and it's very simple. You turn it back on. I'm going to tell you that you might as well go for it. People don't realize, they think marital bliss is some kind of greeting card, imagination thing but it's not, it's real but you need to know how to do that.
Both of my books lay marriage out in a way where you learn what to do and what not to do and the why. You learn about the composite of a man based on his gender, body, mind, and soul and about yourself. You learn how to communicate better. You learn all these things that you really should have learned before you got married and it'll come back together.
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Video
Hi I'm, Paul, Friedman, founder of the marriage Foundation and today's topic is really far from fun signs.
Your husband, doesn't, love, you anymore.
So here's the truth of the matter if you're feeling your husband doesn't, love, you anymore and there's all kinds of degrees of this let's back up a little.
Let me tell you right now that this is extremely fixable.
Now a lot of people most people wait too long before they start addressing these kind of issues, but usually not too too long.
So it's still addressable in an easier way and I'm gonna give you two ways.
So number one, if your husband is really insensitive towards you, you know, what you what you do? Is you look at yourself? If you love somebody, what are the traits that you manifest you're very caring? So if your husband doesn't care anymore, he's become sort of apathetic, not a good sign.
If you're looking at other men, that's, really a bad sign.
If he's looking at other women, it's also a bad sign if he's starting to use porn most women don't do that.
But if he started to use porn, not a good sign, if he's starting to berate, you put you down disqualify, you criticize you at the drop of a pin make fun of you tease.
You hurt your feelings intentionally.
These are all valid signs.
Now I may not have hit the sign that is happening in your marriage, but trust your instincts on this, because your instincts are probably right on.
So what do you do? Well, don't freak out you're married.
So you have this till death.
Do we part sort of template over your marriage, which unfortunately is not highly regarded so much anymore, but you're still under one roof, you're still living together.
So there's major changes that you can make, and you can bring that love back out now here's the thing.
And this is a little esoteric granted, but it's still the truth, you're, a soul, he's a soul.
The essence of you is the soul that's who you are.
And a soul is nothing but love.
So the love doesn't, really disappear.
What's really happening is it's getting blocked.
And honestly, if your husband is not feeling love towards you anymore or he's discouraged by you, any seeking love elsewhere there's, a lot you can do about that, you know, it's like if someone comes to you, and they want some candy and you don't have any they'll go somewhere else.
I'm, not saying, love is candy, but I'm just using this as an analogy.
So you know, men marry women because women have this hard quality where they can express unconditional love much better than they can.
And if that's not happening anymore, you just have to turn that switch on and it's.
The same switch you had on when you were dating it's, the one letting him know that he's the most important person in the world.
Now look, if it's God to this degree and I'm, giving you this advice and it's, very simple, you turn it back on I'm gonna tell you that you might as well go for it.
You know, people don't realize they think marital bliss is some kind of greeting card.
Imagine Asian thing, but it's, not it's real.
But you need to know how to do that.
So both of my books lay marriage out in a way where you learn the what to do and what not to do, and the why you learn about the composite of a man based on his gender, you know, body mind and soul and about yourself, you learn how to communicate better.
You learn all these things that you really should have learned before you got married and it'll come back together.
Okay that being said, if your marriage is on the brink, if you're asking that question because he's having an affair, you need to really go for it.
And for that, you need to use, my course for women and don't go to counseling don't, go to marriage, constantly don't, tell your friends, don't confront your husband don't, ask him.
Why don't you love me anymore, none of those things work, what I shared with you will so try that and then write back to me.
Oh, my god, you know, I was a little hesitant, but I tried.
It got nothing else to had nothing to lose.
And oh, my god, I can't, believe what your book did for me.
And if you look at the reviews on Amazon you'll, see there there's a number of people who have had that experience.
So try that use this moment in time as a wake-up call, not a wake-up call to save your marriage, a wake-up call to turn your marriage into something phenomenal that's.
What you should have phenomenal so let's, not worry about where he's at let's focus on making your marriage phenomenal.
Okay, share the video like it.
Let other people know that we're here, because what we do is very different.
We have such a positive approach and such a step-by-step methodology to get the marriage that you want.
And with that blessings to you blessings to your husband and blessings to your family, take care.
FAQs
How do you tell if my husband doesn't love me anymore? ›
- He's no longer affectionate with you.
- He spends a lot of time alone or out of the house.
- He doesn't really engage in conversation with you anymore.
- He's become closed off.
- He no longer goes out of his way to care for your relationship.
- Identify what's changed.
- Lack of Sexual Intimacy. ...
- Frequently Feeling Angry with Your Spouse. ...
- Dreading Spending Alone-Time Together. ...
- Lack of Respect. ...
- Lack of Trust. ...
- Disliking Your Spouse. ...
- Visions of the Future Do Not Include Your Spouse.
Someone who cares about you is going to engage you in conversation. He's going to send you cute messages and try to make you laugh. If you're finding “he always talks sexually to me” when he texts you or he never goes out of his way to keep in touch throughout the day, your man is probably using you.
How do I know if my husband is unhappy in marriage? ›- Talk about your own feelings. ...
- Talk about what you want instead of what you don't want. ...
- Acknowledge your fear. ...
- Remind him you are committed and hopeful. ...
- Admit that you are willing to work at it, too.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
What does a loveless marriage feel like? ›A loveless marriage is a relationship where one or both partners do not feel in love. Instead of being romantic lovers, they often feel more like roommates or siblings. Being in a loveless marriage often breeds isolation, resentment, and hopelessness.
What are the stages of realizing your marriage is over? ›A common explanation of the stages of divorce characterizes the divorce as the “death” of the relationship and draws on Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's well known writing about the Stages of Grief to explain that people typically go through 5 stages of loss and recovery as a result of the divorce: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, ...
How do you know if your husband is planning a divorce? ›- Lack of Communication. ...
- Personal Attacks. ...
- Big Financial Changes. ...
- Refuses To Make Plans. ...
- Lack of Common Interests. ...
- Lies and Cheating. ...
- Keeping Secrets. ...
- Self-Destructive Behaviors.
There Is No Emotional Intimacy Between You
Over time you become disengaged, spending more time alone, at work, with the kids, or with other friends than you do with your spouse. The two of you become more like roommates and co-parents rather than a married couple.
Difference between love and attachment
In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for. With attachment, your significant other could be replaceable, it's how they satisfy your needs that gives them your attention.
How do I know he loves me and not using me? ›
Many times, the true signs are in the little things like his body language, the way he prioritizes you, or when he goes out of his way to try to make you happy. Other signs he loves you are that he asks for your opinion on things and he says nice things about you.
What are the signs of a cheating husband? ›- They're reluctant to make any big joint purchases.
- They "forgot" to mention a night out.
- The phone goes everywhere with them—even the bathroom.
- And, they're constantly texting.
- When you talk, they rock back and forth.
- They're more focused on their appearance.
- They overshare.
- They're always on social media.
What makes a man unhappy in a marriage can be subjective but the signs tend to manifest themselves in somewhat similar ways. According to studies, the most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity, and/or constant arguments.
What makes couples unhappy in marriage? ›Lacking Trust, Blaming Each Other, and Comparing
Several factors could lead to an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. Lack of trust is one of the biggest culprits. Not believing or trusting each other is difficult when there has been infidelity in the relationship. The second factor is blaming each other for mistakes.
Most couples wait an average of six years before seeking help. There's an important question you both need to answer if you are facing an ongoing unhappy marriage or divorce. Are you motivated to save your marriage? If so, are you willing to do whatever it takes?
What is walkaway wife syndrome? ›There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
What is the lonely wife syndrome? ›It is also sometimes referred to as 'sudden divorce syndrome' or 'neglected wife syndrome. ' Feeling lonely in a relationship can sometimes contribute to the emotional disconnection that ultimately leads to the end of a marriage.
What is the abandoned wife syndrome? ›Wife Abandonment Syndrome is a pattern of behavior on the part of a husband who leaves his wife out-of-the-blue from what she believed was a happy marriage. Following his sudden departure, he replaces the caring he'd typically shown her with anger and aggression.
What are the red flags in a marriage? ›Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
When you feel empty in a marriage? ›Feeling lonely in a marriage is difficult, but there are lots of potential ways to change how you're feeling, including talking about it with your partner, spending more quality time together, working together on communication and common goals, and seeing a counselor together if you need to.
What to do when you feel unloved in marriage? ›
- First, reflect on the feeling by yourself.
- Have a conversation with your partner.
- Switch things up romantically or sexually.
- Speak to a therapist or relationship coach.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
What are the rough years of marriage? ›While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
What is the 7 year cycle of marriage? ›What Exactly is the 7-Year Itch? The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication.
What is the number one indicator of divorce? ›Lack of intimacy is one of the top predictors of divorce. While intimacy is an essential aspect of a healthy marriage, reduced intimacy can be due to children or busy work lives.
What behaviors can predict divorce? ›After watching thousands of couples argue in his lab, he was able to identify specific negative communication patterns that predict divorce. He called them The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and they are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
What makes a man decide to divorce? ›In a study done by Pennsylvania State University, the top reasons men listed for divorce was incompatibility, infidelity, lack of communication and personality problems.
Is it better to divorce or stay unhappily married? ›The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Can a marriage last without being in love? ›Ideally, yes. But many couples are staying together for other reasons, such as kids. Their relationship evolves from a romantic one to a parenting one.
How do you know when your partner is no longer interested? ›They disappear or ghost you for periods of time.
A reliable partner won't ignore your texts, go without talking to you for days or leave you wondering if they'll show up, let alone have your back. If your partner can't be trusted to send a text or check in every now and then, they might have one foot out the door.
What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
What signs to look for if your husband is cheating? ›- They're reluctant to make any big joint purchases.
- They "forgot" to mention a night out.
- The phone goes everywhere with them—even the bathroom.
- And, they're constantly texting.
- When you talk, they rock back and forth.
- They're more focused on their appearance.
- They overshare.
- They're always on social media.
Sometimes your partner may be giving you less affection than you'd like. In these cases, your partner may just require and prefer to give different levels of affection than you. In some cases, your partner could be trying to deal with effects that come with anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Why my husband lost interest in me? ›A lot of times, the reason can be as simple as him getting tired of trying to do his best yet never feeling like his efforts are good enough. All humans long for appreciation every once in a while. While women are more vocal and may seek out compliments on their own, men are not so open with their emotions.