WHEN YOU ENJOY BEING ALONE - Jordan Peterson (Best Motivational Speech) (2023)


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When you start to enjoy being alone, you’ll gain a greater perspective for your own emotions. Once you learn to enjoy being alone, you’re going to grow as a person.

Speaker: Jordan Peterson


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You know, there's, this idea that that people have that people have a conscience, and you know what the conscience is it's it's, this feeling or voice.

You have in your head.

Just before you do something that you know is stupid telling you that probably you shouldn't do that stupid thing you don't have to listen to it.

Strangely enough, but you go ahead and do it anyways.

And then of course, exactly what the conscience told you was going to happen inevitably happened so that you feel even stupider about it than you.

Would if it happened by accident because you, you know, I knew this was going to happen.

I got a warning.

It was going to happen.

And I went and did it anyways? And the funny thing too is that that conscience operates within people.

And we really don't understand what the hell that is.

So you might say, well, what would happen if you abided by your conscience for five years, or for ten years? What sort of position might you be in? What sort of family might you have? What sort of relationship might you be able to forge? And you can be bloody sure that a relationship that's forged on the basis of who you actually are is going to be a lot stronger and more welcome than one that's forged on the basis of who you aren't.

Now of course, that means that the person you're with has to deal with the full force of you in all your ability and your catastrophe and that's a very very difficult thing to negotiate.

But if you do negotiate it, well, at least you, you have something you have somewhere solid to stand.

And you have somewhere to live.

You have a real life and it's a great basis upon which to bring children into the world.

For example, because you can have an actual relationship with them instead of torturing them half to death, which is what happens in a tremendous, a tremendously large minority of cases, well, it's more than that too because.

And this is what I'll close with.

And this is why I wanted to introduce social instance, readings to you you see because it isn't merely that your fate depends on whether or not you get your act together and to what degree you decide that you're going to live out your own genuine being it isn't, only your fate it's, the fate of everyone that you're networked with.

And so you know, you think, well, there's nine billion seven billion people in the world we're going to peak at about nine billion by the way and then it'll decline rapidly, but seven billion people in the world.

And who are you you're, just one little dust mote among that seven billion.

And so it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do but that's, simply not the case it's, the wrong model because you're at the center of a network you're, a node in a network, of course, that's even more true.

Now that we have social media, you'll, you'll know, a thousand people at least over the course of your life and they'll know, a thousand people each.

And that puts you one person away from a million and two persons away from a billion and so that's, how you're connected and the things you do they're like dropping a stone in a pond, the ripples move outward, and they affect things in ways that you can't fully comprehend.

And it means that the things that you do, and that you don't do are far more important than you think if you can teach people to stand up in the face of the things they're afraid of they get stronger.

And you don't know what the upper limits to that are because you might ask yourself like if for 10 years, if you didn't avoid doing what you knew you needed to do by the depth by your own definitions, right within the value structure that you've created to the degree that you've done that.

What would you be like? Well, you know, there are remarkable people who come into the world from time to time.

And there are people who do find out over decades long periods what they could be like if they were who they were if they said, if they spoke their being forward, and they get stronger and stronger and stronger.

And we don't know the limits to that, we do not know the limits to that.

And so you could say, well, in part, perhaps the reason that you're suffering unbearably can be left at your feet because you're, not everything you could be, and you know it.

And of course, that's a terrible thing to admit and it's a terrible thing to consider, but there's, real promise in it right? Because it means that perhaps there's another way that you could look at the world in a number another way that you could act in the world.

So what it would reflect back to you would be much better than what it reflects back to you now.

And so if your life isn't, everything it could be, you could ask yourself, well, what would happen if you just stopped wasting the opportunities that are in front of you? You'd be who knows how much more efficient 10 times more efficient, 20 times more efficient, that's, the pareto distribution.

You have no idea how efficient efficient people get it's, completely it's off the charts.


And if we all got our act together, collectively and stop making things worse because that's, another thing people do all the time not only do they not do what they should to make things better.

They actively attempt to make things worse because they're spiteful or resentful, or arrogant or deceitful or or homicidal or genocidal, or all of those things all bundled together in an absolutely pathological package.

If people stopped really really trying just to make things worse.

We have no idea how much better they would get just because of that.

So there's, this weird dynamic that's part of the existential system of ideas between human vulnerability, social judgment, both of which are are are major causes of suffering.

And the failure of individuals to adopt the responsibility that they know they should adopt the two major problems that people face obviously are suffering tragedy and malevolence and so that's.

The other thing that you're responsible for is that you're supposed to look at the capacity for human evil as clearly as you possibly can it's a very terrifying thing, you know that causes post-traumatic stress disorder in people that aren't accustomed to it.

And in the mythology that's associated with the encounter with evil, it's almost always the case that the entity that does the encountering.

Even if it does.

It voluntarily is is is hurt by it.

The idea would be that if you can face the malevolence and you can face the suffering then that maximally that opens the door to your maximal potential.

And then the option.

The optimistic part of that is then this is.

This is why it's so useful to peer into the darkness, let's say, the optimistic part of that is is that although the suffering is great.

And the malevolence is is deep your capacity to transcend.

It is stronger if you set out a path towards a goal, which you want to do because you need a goal, and you need a path because that provides you with positive emotion, right? So you set up something as valuable.

So that implies a hierarchy, you set up something as valuable, you decide that you're going to do that, instead of other things so that's kind of a sacrifice because you're sacrificing everything else to pursue that.

And then you experience a fair bit of positive emotion and meaning as you watch yourself, move towards the goal.

And so the implication of that is the the better.

The goal, the the more full and rich.

Your experience is going to be when you pursue it.

So that's, one of the reasons of that's one of the reasons for developing a vision and for fleshing yourself out philosophically, because you want to aim at the highest goal that you can manage okay.

So you do that.

And then what you'll find is that as you move towards the goal, there are certain things that that that you have to accomplish that frighten you, you know, maybe you have to learn to be a better speaker, a better writer, a better thinker.

You have to be better to people around you, or you have to learn some new skills and you're afraid of that, whatever because it's going to stretch you, if you if you pursue a goal and it's and so that'll, put you up against challenges? Okay.

So all the clinical data indicates well, the opposite of safe spaces as jonathan height, has been pointing out that what you want to do when you identify something that someone is avoiding that they need to do because they're afraid you have them, voluntary voluntarily confronted.

And so you break it down.

What you try to do if you're a behavior therapist is you break down the thing they're, avoiding into smaller and smaller pieces until you find a piece, that's, small enough so they'll do it.

And it doesn't really matter as long as they start it.

You know, then they can put the next piece on in the next piece.

And what happens is they don't get less afraid exactly they get braver.

They get it's like there's more of them.

You can and here's why? So imagine you do something new and that's, informative, right, there's information in the action.

And then you can incorporate that information and turn it into a skill and turn it into a transformation of your perceptions.

So there's more to you, because you've tried something new so that's one thing.

But the second thing is and there's, good biological evidence for this now that if you put yourself in a new situation, then new genes code for new proteins and build new neural structures and new nervous system structures.

Same thing happens to some degree when you work out right because your your muscles are responding to the load, but your nervous system does that too.

So you imagine that there's a lot of potential, you locked in your genetic code.

And then if you put yourself in a new situation, then then the stress that's, the situational stress that's produced by that particular situation, unlocks those genes and then builds new parts of you and so that's, very cool, because who knows how much there is locked inside of you? Okay? So now here's the idea so let's assume that that scales as you take on heavier and heavier loads that more and more of you, you get more and more informed because you're doing more and more difficult things, but more and more of you gets unlocked.

And so then what that would imply is that if you got to the point where you could look at the darkest thing, so that would be the abyss, right? That would be the deepest abyss.

If you could look at the harshest things like the most brutal parts of the suffering of the world and the malevolence of people and society if you could look that look at that straight and and directly that that would turn you on maximally and so that's, the idea of rescuing your father, because imagine that you're like the potential composite of of all your all the ancestral wisdom, that's locked inside of you biologically, but that's, not going to come out at all unless you stress yourself unless you unless you challenge yourself and the bigger, the challenge you take on the more that's going to turn on.

And so that as you take on a broader and broader range of challenges, and you push yourself harder, then more and more of what you could be turns on and that's equivalent to transforming yourself into the ancestral father into all because you're you're like the what would you call it you're, the consequence of all these living beings that have come before you and that's all part of your biological potentiality.

And then if you can push yourself, then all that clicks on, and that turns you into who you could be.


What does Jordan Peterson say about life? ›

Peterson believes that everyone is born with an instinct for ethics and meaning. It is also a matter of responsibility – you need to have the courage to voluntarily shoulder the great burden of being in order to move towards that meaning.

How to communicate like Jordan Peterson? ›

The more you know, the more the information pours out. I believe Jordan said that a speaker should be able to speak triple the amount of what they plan to speak about. So hypothetically, if they are going to be giving a 10-minute speech. Then they should be able to give a 30-minute speech if needed.

What happened to Jordan Peterson? ›

In the fall of 2021, Peterson retired from the employment of the University of Toronto, becoming professor emeritus. In May 2022, he became chancellor of Ralston College, a liberal arts education project.

How do I become more articulate? ›

5 tips for improving articulation
  1. Record yourself speaking. It's awkward and cringe-worthy to listen to a recording of your own voice. ...
  2. Think about your final sound. Your final sound is how you finish your sentences and speech. ...
  3. Be confident in yourself. ...
  4. Watch how others do it. ...
  5. Be mindful of your speed.
Jun 9, 2022

How do you learn to be more articulate? ›

How to improve articulation
  1. Listen to yourself speak. To help you improve your speaking, record yourself speaking. ...
  2. Check your speed. ...
  3. Watch for unnecessary words. ...
  4. Use pauses effectively. ...
  5. Practice pronunciation. ...
  6. Vary your pitch. ...
  7. Speak at the right volume. ...
  8. Develop confidence.
Feb 3, 2023

What is the 1st rule of life? ›

To "Stand up straight with your shoulders back" (Rule 1) is to "accept the terrible responsibility of life," to make self-sacrifice, because the individual must rise above victimization and "conduct his or her life in a manner that requires the rejection of immediate gratification, of natural and perverse desires alike ...

What is the best Jordan Peterson quotes on life? ›

If you don't stand your ground, then all that happens is people push you backwards. And they will push you, and push you, and push you, until you fall off a cliff.” 17. “If you fulfill your obligations every day you don't need to worry about the future.”

What are the 12 simple rules for life? ›

The 12 Rules for Life
  • Rule 1: Fix your Posture. ...
  • Rule 2: Care for yourself like how you'd care for someone else. ...
  • Rule 3: Surround yourself with people who want the best for you. ...
  • Rule 4: Improve your own game instead of playing others' ...
  • Rule 5: Teach your children to abide by society's rules.

What is a healthy relationship Jordan Peterson? ›

According to Jordan, successful relationships are all about creating a space where the boundaries are clearly defined, and each partner can trust the other to be completely open about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I love his last point: the idea that having everything out in the open is what builds trust.

How to be humble Jordan Peterson? ›

Humility: It is better to presume ignorance and invite learning than to assume sufficient knowledge and risk the consequent blindness. It is much better to make friends with what you do not know than with what you do know, as there is an infinite supply of the former but a finite stock of the latter.

How many hours a day does Jordan Peterson work? ›

As a clinical psychologist, Jordan is well-read, with thousands of books under his belt and a lifetime of reading ahead. Typically, Jordan says he'll work around 14-hours a day, giving him a 100+ hour workweek.

What is Jordan Peterson's philosophy? ›

1. Responsibility: Peterson believes that humans are primarily responsible for their own lives and that they should take personal responsibility for their actions. 2. Hierarchy: Peterson subscribes to the belief that there is a natural hierarchy in society, with men at the top and women below them.

What did Jordan Peterson withdraw from? ›

In 2019, he attempted to stop using Clonazepam. After experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms, he suffered from serious health problems, including neurological damage. At that point, his daughter Mikhaila Peterson explained, he was hospitalized.

How to learn from Jordan Peterson? ›

  1. Don't say things that I know to be false.
  2. Violating my conscience will definitely make me pay. ...
  3. Choose between horror of failure and certainty of failure.
  4. 'No fear' option is a delusion, that only means 'delayed fear' option.

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